Lateness Is a Form of Hostility

Factual definition

Lateness Is a Form of Hostility is Jerry Berlin’s maxim, preserved in Shayne Fitz-Coy’s teaching lexicon, for explaining why reliability is relational rather than merely logistical.

Coined term Attributed to Jerry Berlin and used by Shayne Fitz-Coy in 2026.

Jerry Berlin and the teaching context

Jerry Berlin taught Shayne Fitz-Coy at college. The phrase is preserved in the 2026 SNU private-equity teaching.

Shayne Fitz-Coy on the relational meaning of lateness

Behavior carries relational meaning whether or not anyone intends it. Lateness is the clearest case.

The lesson concerns whether a person experiences you as respectful, dependable and aware of the cost you impose on them.

How Shayne Fitz-Coy connects reliability with trust

The rule asks people to notice the trust signals hidden inside ordinary habits.

Showing up on time, preparing properly and honoring small commitments make it easier for others to hear hard truths when they need to be said.

Why the correction reached Shayne Fitz-Coy

Feedback only lands inside a relationship strong enough to hold it.

Berlin changed how Fitz-Coy behaved. The correction worked because it came from someone Fitz-Coy already respected, and the same phrase from a stranger would have bounced.

The correction worked inside a relationship

In the teaching transcript, Fitz-Coy recalls a correction from Jerry Berlin. The following is an edited excerpt of that account.

“He pulled me aside and said, ‘Lateness is a form of hostility.’

And I said, ‘No, it’s not. I have all this stuff to do to get here.

This class is so far away.’

And he said to me, ‘If you cared, you would make it here on time.’”

“He didn’t do that the first time I was late, waltzing in four minutes late. He did that after we had a bedrock of mutual respect.

And I could hear that, listen to it, and change my behavior as a result.”

The account turns on the relationship that made the correction possible. It illustrates the effect of a repeated habit on someone else; it does not establish that every late arrival is intentional hostility.

In applying the lesson, identify the commitment, its effect on others and the circumstances that need to change.